I was really looking forward to my anesthesia rotation, mostly the opportunity to learn procedural skills. By the end of the first week I hadn’t had a chance to practice IVs. The resident I was working with offered for me to practice on him – he told me it wasn’t a big deal, so I took the learning opportunity, and succeeded!

The next week I was with an anesthesia fellow for a shift. I introduced myself at the beginning of the shift. He said, “oh, you’re the med student who goes around stabbing residents!” I thought it was a bit of a strange comment, but I shrugged it off.

The next day I ran into one of my clerkship group-mates. She had been working with the same fellow I had worked with the previous day. At the start of her shift she mentioned to him that she hadn’t had much practice with IVs and was hoping to learn. He responded to her that he didn’t let med students stab him, unlike his resident colleague. He then mentioned me to her and said that the only reason that my resident had let me practice IVs on him was because he had a crush on me, and that they (the anesthesia residents and fellows) had been making fun of him for it at rounds that morning. The fellow then made a joke to my group mate along the lines of, “next, she’s going to tell him she’s never put a Foley in!”

I was absolutely mortified. I burst into tears. For the rest of the rotation I felt like I had a neon sign on my forehead “flirtatious clerk that ______ resident has a crush on.” I spent the next few weeks so self conscious about how I communicated with my male superiors, worrying that they might interpret my eagerness to learn as flirtation.

I now realize that I wasn’t in the wrong, and I have since regained my excitement to learn. Talking to my classmates and clerkship group helped me get through the experience. Clerkship has a fair amount of both ups and downs, I found that talking through the tough times with people I trusted really helped.

– CC4